So you're probably wondering what this is all about. "Here's another poor sap who can't control himself and is going online to spill his guts." And you know, you'd be right. I can't control myself. I have no power, zero, zip, nada. I have been a porn addict since I was first exposed to it in the sixth grade. So why am I writing it about on the Internet? I can assure you that it is not for my own edification or ego trip. As I write this first entry, I am not sober. My wife just threatened to leave me if I don't shape up. It's only been a couple of days since I last acted out, although at this point, it's the last thing I want to do.
The point of this blog is not to act as my own personal confessional. I go to my priest for that. Or at least I have started to again. The purpose of this blog is to act as my own diary of recovery, and also to hopefully inspire someone else who is suffering from sex addiction to take action. Writing my story helps me in my recovery, so I guess there is somewhat of a selfish motive, but I want to maybe help people by being honest and throwing my own experiences out there.
I welcome your comments, especially your prayers. I have no shame in begging for prayers, because trust me, I need them. The first couple posts will give you a bit of the back story and the history of my addiction and how it has progressed to the point of my wife threatening to leave me. Once we are all caught up, I will then blog about my continuing recovery. I'm also going write posts with my own thoughts and research on sex addiction and it's impact on our society.
Lastly, I want to tell you a little about me. I am almost thirty years old, I have been married for eight years, and I have four wonderful children. I am a practicing Catholic. I'm not going to tell you I'm a good Catholic, but I believe in the Church and it's teachings, so my posts are going to reflect a Catholic position. Luckily, they haven't kicked me out yet! I am a musician. I sing and play the trumpet. It's my passion and I want to release it from the bondage of this addiction that has tied me down in every aspect of my life. I spent eight years in the United States Marine Corps in a musical unit, and spent the entire time traveling around the country and the world performing.
So that's it. Now you know what I'm doing and why I'm doing it. I hope you check back often. Our nation has been ravaged by sexual addiction and it is an epidemic that is destroying our relationships and our souls. I'm sure that you know someone who has struggled with this, or your own life has been impacted by a sex addict. Pray for us, please. I don't want this at all, and am trapped by my own selfishness and weakness. God bless you.
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