Jesus, I don't have any deep or eloquent prayers at this time. All I know is that I am a sex addict and I need your help. Without you, I would be at the computer all day and night. I give you permission to use whatever it takes to keep me from acting out. I don't care what needs to be done, I will do it.
Amen
Disclaimer: You may have noticed in the first part of this series that I refer to sex addicts in the singular with the pronoun "he," when the subject is singular, of course. For all you politically correct junkies out there, I am not trying to exclude women from the realm of sexual addiction. There are plenty of women out there who suffer from sex and porn addiction as well. I'm just too lazy to type "he or she" every time I have to write a pronoun.
Hello again. I am now going to continue where I left off talking about what happens in the brain during the addiction cycle, and how it alters the brain structure. If you haven't read the first part of this article, I would suggest doing so. You can find it here. Otherwise you might not know what's going on. I'm sorry if it is a little dry. It's hard to bring scientific terms to life so we can all be amazed and riveted. I personally find this subject fascinating. It provides a deeper look into why someone behaves the way he does. Ok, so here's the rest of the story...
Our brains are built to function at the highest capacity. For example: when we learn a skill, it takes a lot of practice in order to be able to function adequately. When learning to ride a bike, I'm sure many of us have taken many spills and skinned many knees as we struggled to gain the necessary skills. Our brains had to adjust to the muscle coordination needed to balance on the bike and pedal at the same time. As we continued to practice, we didn't need to think about it anymore. We were able to hop on and go on our merry way. Why did this happen? Because our brains developed the appropriate pathways and neural connections in order to execute this skill without having to relearn every time we tried to ride a bike.
The human brain works like this in the development of all skills and knowledge. It stores information away so that we can easily recall it. This is the brain's way of maximizing efficiency so that it does not become bogged down with having to relearn the same information and skills every time they are encountered. So what does this have to do with porn? Ask an addict, and he can tell you that he has thousands of pornographic images stored in his head that he has seen over the years. This is because all of those images have been "seared" into his brain by the brain's own processes. Pornography trains the brain to react to the images seen in a particular manner, mainly arousal. When an addict concentrates on voyeur pornography, for example, he trains himself to become aroused by seeing windows and people in windows. If he is looking at pornography that depicts younger looking girls, he trains himself to become aroused by girls that look young, or that actually are younger than legal age. See how this works?
The reason why pornography becomes so deeply ingrained in the brain (ha, a little poetry there) is because of the chemicals released while the addict is looking at pornography. We talked about the funnel. When the addict is in the narrow part of the funnel, for him, all time has stopped and all he can concentrate on is the increasing excitement of the images or videos in front of him. His brain is bombarded with chemicals that increase the rush and help him focus even more narrowly. As he approaches climax, as is the goal of most addicts, these chemicals bring him to a height of hollow ecstasy and intimacy. You see, these chemicals, which are meant to bond two people together, are actually bonding the addict to the pornography. The images become deeply seared in the brain as they are encountered in this manner. When the addict climaxes, a wave of serotonin is released that brings about a feeling of deep calm and release from stress (Kastleman 2005).
The addict soon learns to turn to this process as a solution to many of life's problems. Mark Kastleman (2005) wrote, "Combining repetition with extreme visual images, pornography builds an incredibly dominant mental model in the brain. As pornography is repeatedly viewed, the mental model grows larger and more dominant. Deep "ruts" form in this complex network of interconnected sexual images, conflicting emotions, chemical release and climax (p 35). The addict becomes addicted to the rush of chemicals that are released in the brain. It becomes his "drug."
The pornographic mental model becomes dominant in the addicts mind. He sees everything through the "haze" of pornography. I can personally relate. When I view a lot of pornography, I start to see everything as something sexual, even if it is not sexual in nature. It is like I have goggles on through which I see sex in everything. Kastleman (2005) writes, "There is a lot more going on in the Pornography Funnel than sexual arousal. In fact, remove sexual arousal from the process and any similarities to sexual intimacy in a healthy marriage cease. The pornography-viewing mental model contains a vast array of connections to many emotions, feelings and memories that have nothing to do with sex. It is these "other" connections that give pornography an enormous power that goes beyond the sexual (p 28). There is pornography out there in which religious symbols are used, such as one of the "actors" wearing a cross. That is just sick. That creates a pornographic mental map even of religion!
As the addiction progresses, the addict starts to view increasingly harsh material. Like any drug, more is required to achieve the same "high." The addict views more hardcore material such as fetishes, bondage, rape and other bizarre forms of pornography. Most addicts live a double life throughout their addiction. There is the life that he invents and uses as a cover so others won't be able to see his "real self." The addict goes to great lengths to maintain this cover, using deceit, manipulation, and anything else he needs to do. He believes that he is vulgar and repulsive, and that if anyone found out about what he does, he would be abandoned and deemed a pervert or something.
The addict can undergo a dramatic change in personality. Kastleman (2005) writes, "The porn viewer is gradually transformed into a different person. He can become increasingly tolerant of sexualized media on TV and in the movies. He may make increasingly extreme requests of his spouse during sexual intimacy. Or he may isolate himself and begin ignoring his spouse altogether, or become increasingly cold and impersonal in their sexual encounters. He may exhibit huge mood swings, become increasingly impatient, easily spurred to anger, depressed, withdrawn. He may become distracted in public, staring at women (p 37).
I realize that I have been borrowing heavily from Mark Kastleman. I warned you in my first post that I am not a scientist. I think it is very important to understand these issues, so I want to make sure that I am presenting clear information backed up by a credible source. Understanding the inner workings of sex addicts will help us, as a society, be better able to help those who are suffering. I will sign off for now. In my next and last post in this series, I will explain how pornography is a catalyst to many sex crimes and how it is destroying our society. I will also list several sources that will help you better research this topic. Until next time...
References
Kastleman, M. B. (2005) Healing hearts & mending minds. Orem, UT: LifeBalance
Institute, Inc.
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