Your Brain On Porn: The Science Behind The Addiction Part 3

Jesus,

I ask you to use me as your instrument to spread the truth about pornography and how it destroys people, families, marriages, and our society.  I know only a little, please give me the words to convey this evil to your sons and daughters who read this blog.  I ask this through the intercession of you Holy Mother, Mary.

Amen

Allright, folks, it's time for the last part in this series.  In the first post, I talked about the funnel, and how the addict moves through the funnel while viewing pornography.  In the second post, I talked about how the addict's brain builds very strong mental models through the use of the pornography, which leads to a compulsion.  I also mentioned how the personality of the addict changes over time into something much different than the "true" self.  In this post, I'm going to attempt to tie it together and explain how pornography is affecting our society as a whole and how it influences those who either commit sex crimes, or begin doing so.  I will be writing my opinion on many of these issues and drawing from my own experiences as an addict.  No, I have never actually committed a crime, but I am an addict, nonetheless, and if my wife hadn't stuck by my side, I cringe to think where I could have gone.  

I think it helps to mention at the onset of this post that this addiction, and most others, are a manifestation of a deeper spiritual and psychological problem.  Think of the acting out of the addiction as a symptom of a disease that is much more personal.  The addiction is a learned behavior that develops over many years of repetition. To put it simply, acting out is a form of self-medication, an escape.  After therapy with several different therapists, I can say that early on in an addict's life, he learns to escape by withdrawing into pornography. The circumstances he is trying to escape may be physical or emotional abuse, distant parents, low self-esteem, or any number of things.  This can happen early on in life or later on, but frequently, it starts pre-adolescence.  The addict seeks to escape from those negative feelings and harsh realities in an unhealthy way.  This is his release, his time to feel good and experience release from tension.  On another note, many people who are sexually abused become sex addicts as well.  There are many women and men out there who can relate to that.  It is a tragedy.

I have tried to find research about pornography and sex crimes and I was surprised to find articles that claim that hard pornography, including child pornography, actually decrease the number of rapes and child abuse.  I think this is absolutely absurd.  In this article, the author minimizes inmates claims of pornography use leading them to committing crime as shifting the blame and not taking responsibility.  Don't you, my esteemed reader, think for a second that I do not think sex offenders should be held accountable for their actions.  But we also have to take a hard look at what the line of thinking and motivation is for committing those actions really is.  People don't just randomly come to the conclusion one day that they are going to go out and commit a heinous crime.  There has to be a certain degree of impaired thinking and values that accompany such acts.  One of the most infamous sex offenders is Ted Bundy.  He had some serious things to say about how pornography contributed to his acting out.  You can read his interview here.

We have discussed how the long term use of pornography effects an individual.  His entire personal belief system is altered and his personality is changed.  Talk to any spouse of a sex addict, and try to tell her that her husband isn't a completely different person, and not for the better, either.  A sex/porn addict will be much more irritable, make increasingly harsh demands of his spouse in the bedroom, and continue to seek more graphic depictions of sexual acts.  Sometimes, porn gets boring on its own.  The addict then seeks to recreate some of the things he has been viewing.  Sometimes the addict starts seeking prostitutes, massage parlors, and having one night stands.  

If an addict has been watching porn that depicts "actresses and actors" who appear younger than the age of eighteen, then how do you suppose that addict's brain is going to be wired?  He is going to seek sexual encounters with underage teenagers.  That certainly leads to problems with the law.  As we have already noted, the images in pornography are seared into the addict's brain.  Sexual pleasure and release are associated with those images.  Inevitably, as pornography becomes more "boring", the addict is then going to seek out that which his brain is already wired.  Does anybody else see this as a problem?  

Pornography use is quite prolific in the United States today.  To save room on this blog, you can find some of those stats here, here, and also this one , which is EXCELLENT.  The one stat I find the most disturbing is that the largest consumer of pornography is the 12-17 Age Group!!!  That is crazy!  What do you think is happening to their ability to have real relationships, their ability to develop a healthy sexuality, and to their brain structure?  Nothing good, I guarantee it.  How is this going to affect society?  I'll leave you to draw your own conclusion based on all that has been said regarding this issue so far.  

Based on my own experience as a porn/sex addict and my own research, I think this is a world-wide epidemic that is destroying the inner workings of our sexuality and it's true beauty.  This destruction prevents us from having a satisfied relationship, not only sexually, but relationships in general, it prevents us from seeing other people outside of the pornographic view, and it spreads a cheap, thrill based view on sex and sexuality that leaves us unfulfilled, overall.  There are millions and millions of people who struggle with this addiction or that have suffered through someone else's addiction.  Pornography is the basis for ruined lives and failed marriages.  Men and women all over the US and the world have become slaves to this thing that is supposed to make us "free."  This thing that is supposed to be just a "harmless pastime."  

Resources for You

Healing Hearts and Mending Minds by Mark Kastleman:  This book is an excellent source for defining the brain science behind internet porn, but also combating the dominant mental models it creates.

Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction by Patrick Carnes:  This book offers great insight into the nature of addiction and the process that addicts go through.  He offers great insight based on his many years of research and experience.

http://candeohealthysexuality.com/  This is an online program for healing from sexual addiction developed by Mark Kastleman.  It works to overcome the pornographic mental models in the brain and develop new, healthy ones.  

http://www.shelleylubben.com/  Shelley Lubben is a former porn actress who has started the Pink Cross Foundation and now speaks out against the porn industry.  She has a powerful story which she uses to help other porn actors and actresses leave the industry and find new lives.  

http://www.thekingsmen.us/ This is a great men's group that protests outside porn shops in Pennsylvania.  They have also started many different men's groups and runs a great retreat called Into The Wild.  

I hope this series has been helpful to you.  I think it is very important to understand the nature of addiction and how it effects the addict and those around him.  This isn't just a case of some "perverts" who can't control themselves and are causing problems for an otherwise blameless society.  This is something that has woven itself deep into the fabric of our society and is destroying us from the inside out.  In subsequent posts, I will talk about God's true plan for sexuality and how He actually made us as men and women and the called it GOOD.  God bless you.

Getting Current Sep 20 2011

Dear Jesus,

It's a little awkward talking to you right now.  I know I haven't been praying a whole lot lately.  All I can ask is that you don't give up on me.  Sometimes I give up on myself and I lose faith.  Please forgive my weakness.  I cannot stop this on my own.  I have no power.  I feel lost and alone.  Please be at my side.  Please provide for my family.  I can only focus on my own recovery now.  In your name I pray...

Amen

I know I haven't updated in a while.  I wish I could relate some amazing story of how I have taken a complete 180 and am now forging ahead on the path to a long-lasting recovery.  Unfortunately, I would be lying.  These past few weeks have been very difficult.  I have felt lost and abandoned and completely overwhelmed by this addiction.  I wish I could say I haven't acted out at all.  That would also be a lie.  I have looked at porn when I have been able to.  I have gone behind my wife's back AGAIN.  I have cheated on her through my eyes again.  I really hate myself when I do that, but for some reason, I seem to keep going back to it.  

During these past few weeks, I have come to a much clearer understanding of the nature of my addiction and exactly how powerless I am over it.  I have realized just how selfish and self-seeking I am.  I discovered just how much I seek to escape from life and try to find something to turn to.  I turn to the computer, to food, to tobacco, and to porn.  These are the things that rule my life.  I don't know how this came to be, but I know that my life is unmanageable and I am unable to control it.  I have realized how selfish and self-seeking I am, and how much that affects my family.  This is the first step in the twelve step programs, realizing that your life is unmanageable over whatever you are addicted to.  It is a very humbling step.  I have realized the full magnitude of my addiction over the past couple weeks, and have also been disheartened by it.

I have given up everything of my old life.  I am not going to school for music any more, I have stopped singing in the choir at a local church, I am not singing or playing the trumpet any more.  In fact, I have listed my trumpet for sale in the local newspaper.  This is the trumpet that I bought with my own money after I graduated high school.  I have had it for over ten years.  This all hurts very much.  When my wife found the sent emails I had sent to Craigslist advertisements, she asked me to not go back to school.  I prayed about it, and also felt that I needed to leave my job as well.  I got the feeling that I had to give up my life in order to save it.  I have entrusted the care of my family to the Lord.  I know it sounds insane.  My whole life has already been insane, so why not try a different brand of insanity?

My wife was supposed to start a job, but they haven't put her on payroll yet.  This means that I don't have enough money to put gas in my car.  We're also out of foodstamps for the month.  Yes, I'm on foodstamps.  When I have had an income after getting out of the Marines, we have pretty much been below the poverty line.  I can't tell you what a great stress this is.  I'm supposed to be the protector and provider for my family.  I haven't provided squat, and instead of protecting them, I have been the biggest threat in my own family's lives.  This has all really sunk in recently.  I haven't been able to get past it to the part where I let God into my life.  I've tried, believe me.  Either He doesn't feel like answering right now, or I'm missing something.  I don't know.

This is a great illustration of the addiction and how absolutely insane it is.  My wife recently told me that either something changes and I start working my butt off trying to recover or she is leaving.  Any sane person would say, "Hmm, it sounds like you'd better stop.  I know I would."  Yeah, I know that too.  But I haven't stopped.  No, I'm not spending hours on the computer every day, but I am still looking at porn when I get the chance.  It makes no sense.  If I stand to lose everything, why do I still do it?  Because I'm an addict, that's why.  I don't have control over the addiction.

So what am I going to do now?  My wife and I have discussed the possibility of me going to an in-patient facility.  A lot of them are pretty expensive.  I don't know if I'll be able to go, but I found a good one in Pennsylvania.  I hope that works out.  So that's it, I'm totally broke, still caught in the web of this addiction, and I don't know what to do.  I hope God can help out soon, because I have reached my limit.  If you are new to this blog, check out how I got in this mess in the first place by reading my four part story, part one, part two, part three, and part four.

Please pray for me.  This is a really tough time for me and for my wife.  I want to be the husband and father that I haven't been for the most part.  I want to get rid of this blackness inside of me.  I want to be able to look at women and appreciate them for who they are and admire their beauty without sexualizing it and lusting after it.  I want to love my wife the way God wants me to love her.  

Your Brain On Porn: The Science Behind The Compulsion Part 2

Jesus, I don't have any deep or eloquent prayers at this time.  All I know is that I am a sex addict and I need your help.  Without you, I would be at the computer all day and night.  I give you permission to use whatever it takes to keep me from acting out.  I don't care what needs to be done, I will do it.  

Amen

Disclaimer:  You may have noticed in the first part of this series that I refer to sex addicts in the singular with the pronoun "he," when the subject is singular, of course.  For all you politically correct junkies out there, I am not trying to exclude women from the realm of sexual addiction.  There are plenty of women out there who suffer from sex and porn addiction as well.  I'm just too lazy to type "he or she" every time I have to write a pronoun.  

Hello again.  I am now going to continue where I left off talking about what happens in the brain during the addiction cycle, and how it alters the brain structure.  If you haven't read the first part of this article, I would suggest doing so.  You can find it here.  Otherwise you might not know what's going on.  I'm sorry if it is a little dry.  It's hard to bring scientific terms to life so we can all be amazed and riveted.  I personally find this subject fascinating.  It provides a deeper look into why someone behaves the way he does.  Ok, so here's the rest of the story...

Our brains are built to function at the highest capacity.  For example:  when we learn a skill, it takes a lot of practice in order to be able to function adequately.  When learning to ride a bike, I'm sure many of us have taken many spills and skinned many knees as we struggled to gain the necessary skills.  Our brains had to adjust to the muscle coordination needed to balance on the bike and pedal at the same time.  As we continued to practice, we didn't need to think about it anymore.  We were able to hop on and go on our merry way.  Why did this happen?  Because our brains developed the appropriate pathways and neural connections in order to execute this skill without having to relearn every time we tried to ride a bike. 

The human brain works like this in the development of all skills and knowledge.  It stores information away so that we can easily recall it.  This is the brain's way of maximizing efficiency so that it does not become bogged down with having to relearn the same information and skills every time they are encountered.  So what does this have to do with porn?  Ask an addict, and he can tell you that he has thousands of pornographic images stored in his head that he has seen over the years.  This is because all of those images have been "seared" into his brain by the brain's own processes.  Pornography trains the brain to react to the images seen in a particular manner, mainly arousal.  When an addict concentrates on voyeur pornography, for example, he trains himself to become aroused by seeing windows and people in windows.  If he is looking at pornography that depicts younger looking girls, he trains himself to become aroused by girls that look young, or that actually are younger than legal age.  See how this works?

The reason why pornography becomes so deeply ingrained in the brain (ha, a little poetry there) is because of the chemicals released while the addict is looking at pornography.  We talked about the funnel.  When the addict is in the narrow part of the funnel, for him, all time has stopped and all he can concentrate on is the increasing excitement of the images or videos in front of him.  His brain is bombarded with chemicals that increase the rush and help him focus even more narrowly.  As he approaches climax, as is the goal of most addicts, these chemicals bring him to a height of hollow ecstasy and intimacy.  You see, these chemicals, which are meant to bond two people together, are actually bonding the addict to the pornography.  The images become deeply seared in the brain as they are encountered in this manner.  When the addict climaxes, a wave of serotonin is released that brings about a feeling of deep calm and release from stress (Kastleman 2005).  

The addict soon learns to turn to this process as a solution to many of life's problems.  Mark Kastleman (2005) wrote, "Combining repetition with extreme visual images, pornography builds an incredibly dominant mental model in the brain.  As pornography is repeatedly viewed, the mental model grows larger and more dominant.  Deep "ruts" form in this complex network of interconnected sexual images, conflicting emotions, chemical release and climax (p 35).  The addict becomes addicted to the rush of chemicals that are released in the brain.  It becomes his "drug."  

The pornographic mental model becomes dominant in the addicts mind.  He sees everything through the "haze" of pornography.  I can personally relate.  When I view a lot of pornography, I start to see everything as something sexual, even if it is not sexual in nature.  It is like I have goggles on through which I see sex in everything.  Kastleman (2005) writes, "There is a lot more going on in the Pornography Funnel than sexual arousal.  In fact, remove sexual arousal from the process and any similarities to sexual intimacy in a healthy marriage cease.  The pornography-viewing mental model contains a vast array of connections to many emotions, feelings and memories that have nothing to do with sex.  It is these "other" connections that give pornography an enormous power that goes beyond the sexual (p 28).  There is pornography out there in which religious symbols are used, such as one of the "actors" wearing a cross.  That is just sick.  That creates a pornographic mental map even of religion!

As the addiction progresses, the addict starts to view increasingly harsh material.  Like any drug, more is required to achieve the same "high."  The addict views more hardcore material such as fetishes, bondage, rape and other bizarre forms of pornography.  Most addicts live a double life throughout their addiction.  There is the life that he invents and uses as a cover so others won't be able to see his "real self."  The addict goes to great lengths to maintain this cover, using deceit, manipulation, and anything else he needs to do.  He believes that he is vulgar and repulsive, and that if anyone found out about what he does, he would be abandoned and deemed a pervert or something.

The addict can undergo a dramatic change in personality.  Kastleman (2005) writes, "The porn viewer is gradually transformed into a different person.  He can become increasingly tolerant of sexualized media on TV and in the movies.  He may make increasingly extreme requests of his spouse during sexual intimacy.  Or he may isolate himself and begin ignoring his spouse altogether, or become increasingly cold and impersonal in their sexual encounters.  He may exhibit huge mood swings, become increasingly impatient, easily spurred to anger, depressed, withdrawn.  He may become distracted in public, staring at women (p 37).  

I realize that I have been borrowing heavily from Mark Kastleman.  I warned you in my first post that I am not a scientist.  I think it is very important to understand these issues, so I want to make sure that I am presenting clear information backed up by a credible source.  Understanding the inner workings of sex addicts will help us, as a society, be better able to help those who are suffering.  I will sign off for now.  In my next and last post in this series, I will explain how pornography is a catalyst to many sex crimes and how it is destroying our society.  I will also list several sources that will help you better research this topic.  Until next time...

References

Kastleman, M. B.  (2005)  Healing hearts & mending minds.  Orem, UT:  LifeBalance 

     Institute, Inc.

Your Brain On Porn: The Science Behind the Compulsion Part 1

Lord Jesus, I ask you to guide me as I write the truth of an affliction that hurts millions of people.  Please bless those who read this.  Help those who are struggling with an addiction to sex or pornography, that they may find help and peace in you. 
Amen

I will be the first to admit that I am not a scientist.  I know I do not have the brains or the patience to handle all the research and experiments.  That is why I am going to refer to other people who have taken the time and energy to research sex addiction and how it effects the brain.  I will also draw upon my own personal experiences to connect reality with theory.  This post will focus primarily on the physical and psychological effects that porn and sex addiction have on the brain.  There is a substantive spiritual dimension to the nature of addiction as well that I will not address here.  I will discuss the spiritual dimension in a subsequent post.

The first aspect of addiction that must be discussed is the addiction cycle itself.  Nobody starts off with the intentions of becoming a serial exhibitionist, or starts looking at extreme fetishes, or has compulsive sex with prostitutes.  Those behaviors are not built within our natural tendencies.  When someone is acting out in an uncontrollable manner, it is usually the manifestation of an addiction that has progressed over some period of time.  According to Patrick Carnes (2001), The addiction process "begins with the delusional thought processes that are rooted in the addict's belief system" (p 15).  Everybody has a core belief system about themselves that affects how they perceive reality (Carnes 2001).  This belief system is what guides us in our every day lives.  The addict has a belief system that is greatly impaired.  I can attest to the fact that addicts feel unworthy, alone, isolated, and beyond assistance.  The addict's only consolation is the need for sex and sexual release.  Sex becomes a consolation, a reward, a pastime that the addict turns to in order to vent feelings of frustration, loneliness, and despair.

The cycle of addiction usually starts early on, with the addict feeling isolated from friends and family.  A very common first sexual experience is with pornography.  Many an addict can relate the first time he first was exposed to pornography:  dad's Playboy, late night cable, a porn video left in a player.  That first glimpse is a huge rush.  It produces feelings of excitement and arousal.  Finally, here is something that can  make the addict feel better.  It's his own private pleasure.  Couple that with masturbation, and something very powerful is formed.  A cycle is created where the addict seeks to escape with increasing frequency into that realm of fantasy.  He starts to count down the minutes until he can get the next "fix."

The first time I saw pornography was in sixth grade.  A friend of mine, who was an excellent artist, copied some pictures out of his dad's Playboy and handed them out to people.  I was electrified.  Wow, a naked woman!  I stashed those pictures away and would look at them all the time.  I also started to try to find other pictures of naked women.  I looked in underwear ads, friends houses, everywhere.  I was fascinated and needed to see more.  You can see more of my early story in How I Became Addicted to Porn Pt 1.

So what is going on here?  Why is pornography so powerful?  According to Mark Kastleman (2005), "Pornography is powerful because it takes advantage of and taps into mental models with powerful emotional, biological and chemical connections throughout the brain and the rest of the body (p 18).  Our sexuality is something that is hardwired into all of us.  It is triggered at the onset of puberty and grows and evolves into something that allows us to have a close relationship with our spouse as well as to reproduce.  We have in each of us powerful feelings, emotions, and hormones that direct our sexuality.  After this consideration, it is no wonder that pornography and sex addiction are so powerful and seemingly unbeatable.

There is a very specific process we experience as we experience sexual arousal and ultimately, climax.  It is sometimes referred to as a "narrowing process", in which powerful hormones are released in our body that enable us to "tune out" practically everything around us.  Mark Kastleman refers to it as a funnel.  Think of a funnel with a wide top, a very narrow middle, and another wide end at the bottom.  It looks like an hourglass.  This is a diagram that represents that narrowing process as we move through sexual arousal.

The top of this funnel represents a wide perspective.  The addict is aware of everything around him, and is functioning normally.  The addict then moves into what Patrick Carnes calls preoccupation, where the addict is overcome with thoughts of sex.   This causes the addict to search, sometimes wildly, for sexual stimulation Carnes (2001).  When the addict begins to receive that sexual stimulation, commonly through use of pornography, he moves into the narrow part of the funnel.  This sexual stimulation can be attained through prostitutes, stalking, strip clubs, public indecency, etc.  He then moves into "addict time", where the addict is unaware of everything around him, including the passage of time Kastleman (2005).  I can remember looking at porn for hours on end, and after "coming to", realizing it was after midnight, and I had been there for six or more hours.

The narrowing process releases powerful chemicals in the brain such as Dopamine, Norepinephrine, Testosterone, Oxytocin, Vasopressin, and Serotonin.  These chemicals aid the brain in being able to focus narrowly, to experience greater pleasure and excitement, attachment, and a calming feeling after climax Kastleman (2005).  These chemicals create a powerful imprint on the brain, and creates a strong connection in the addict to pornography and it's relation to sexual climax.  It is while an addict is in the grip of the narrow view that he is completely immersed in his "dark side."  Kastleman refers to it as Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.  In the middle of the funnel, the addict is Mr. Hyde.  Think of tunnel vision on steroids.  That may not be a very clinical analysis, but it's the best I have for it.

The addict leaves the middle of the funnel usually after climax.  Immediately he returns to "real time" and enters into what Kastleman refers to as the hopeless dialogue.  This is when the addict feels shame, guilt, and self-loathing.  He usually vows to stop his behavior and promises to himself never to do it again.  He doesn't understand what he was just doing, or what he was thinking.  According to Kastleman (2005), "Once he descends into the Pornography Funnel, he gives up his ability to "think."  The overpowering flood of chemicals overrides his cognitive thought and reasoning abilities.  The frontal lobes-the logic center of the brain-are virtually shut down and the limbic system, which controls the pleasure/emotional centers of the brain, take over" (p 31).

At this point, we are going to take a break.  I will continue to discuss the escalation of sex addiction and how an addict seeks greater and more risky behavior to experience the same highs.  I will also discuss how porn addiction had been described as more addictive than heroin.  I hope you have found this informative.  Until next time...

References

Carnes, P.  (2001).  Out of the shadows:  Understanding sexual addiction.  Center City, 

     MN:  CompCare Publishers.

Kastleman, M. B.  (2005)  Healing hearts & mending minds.  Orem, UT:  LifeBalance 

     Institute, Inc.