Jesus,
I ask you to use me as your instrument to spread the truth about pornography and how it destroys people, families, marriages, and our society. I know only a little, please give me the words to convey this evil to your sons and daughters who read this blog. I ask this through the intercession of you Holy Mother, Mary.
Amen
Allright, folks, it's time for the last part in this series. In the first post, I talked about the funnel, and how the addict moves through the funnel while viewing pornography. In the second post, I talked about how the addict's brain builds very strong mental models through the use of the pornography, which leads to a compulsion. I also mentioned how the personality of the addict changes over time into something much different than the "true" self. In this post, I'm going to attempt to tie it together and explain how pornography is affecting our society as a whole and how it influences those who either commit sex crimes, or begin doing so. I will be writing my opinion on many of these issues and drawing from my own experiences as an addict. No, I have never actually committed a crime, but I am an addict, nonetheless, and if my wife hadn't stuck by my side, I cringe to think where I could have gone.
I think it helps to mention at the onset of this post that this addiction, and most others, are a manifestation of a deeper spiritual and psychological problem. Think of the acting out of the addiction as a symptom of a disease that is much more personal. The addiction is a learned behavior that develops over many years of repetition. To put it simply, acting out is a form of self-medication, an escape. After therapy with several different therapists, I can say that early on in an addict's life, he learns to escape by withdrawing into pornography. The circumstances he is trying to escape may be physical or emotional abuse, distant parents, low self-esteem, or any number of things. This can happen early on in life or later on, but frequently, it starts pre-adolescence. The addict seeks to escape from those negative feelings and harsh realities in an unhealthy way. This is his release, his time to feel good and experience release from tension. On another note, many people who are sexually abused become sex addicts as well. There are many women and men out there who can relate to that. It is a tragedy.
I have tried to find research about pornography and sex crimes and I was surprised to find articles that claim that hard pornography, including child pornography, actually decrease the number of rapes and child abuse. I think this is absolutely absurd. In this article, the author minimizes inmates claims of pornography use leading them to committing crime as shifting the blame and not taking responsibility. Don't you, my esteemed reader, think for a second that I do not think sex offenders should be held accountable for their actions. But we also have to take a hard look at what the line of thinking and motivation is for committing those actions really is. People don't just randomly come to the conclusion one day that they are going to go out and commit a heinous crime. There has to be a certain degree of impaired thinking and values that accompany such acts. One of the most infamous sex offenders is Ted Bundy. He had some serious things to say about how pornography contributed to his acting out. You can read his interview here.
We have discussed how the long term use of pornography effects an individual. His entire personal belief system is altered and his personality is changed. Talk to any spouse of a sex addict, and try to tell her that her husband isn't a completely different person, and not for the better, either. A sex/porn addict will be much more irritable, make increasingly harsh demands of his spouse in the bedroom, and continue to seek more graphic depictions of sexual acts. Sometimes, porn gets boring on its own. The addict then seeks to recreate some of the things he has been viewing. Sometimes the addict starts seeking prostitutes, massage parlors, and having one night stands.
If an addict has been watching porn that depicts "actresses and actors" who appear younger than the age of eighteen, then how do you suppose that addict's brain is going to be wired? He is going to seek sexual encounters with underage teenagers. That certainly leads to problems with the law. As we have already noted, the images in pornography are seared into the addict's brain. Sexual pleasure and release are associated with those images. Inevitably, as pornography becomes more "boring", the addict is then going to seek out that which his brain is already wired. Does anybody else see this as a problem?
Pornography use is quite prolific in the United States today. To save room on this blog, you can find some of those stats here, here, and also this one , which is EXCELLENT. The one stat I find the most disturbing is that the largest consumer of pornography is the 12-17 Age Group!!! That is crazy! What do you think is happening to their ability to have real relationships, their ability to develop a healthy sexuality, and to their brain structure? Nothing good, I guarantee it. How is this going to affect society? I'll leave you to draw your own conclusion based on all that has been said regarding this issue so far.
Based on my own experience as a porn/sex addict and my own research, I think this is a world-wide epidemic that is destroying the inner workings of our sexuality and it's true beauty. This destruction prevents us from having a satisfied relationship, not only sexually, but relationships in general, it prevents us from seeing other people outside of the pornographic view, and it spreads a cheap, thrill based view on sex and sexuality that leaves us unfulfilled, overall. There are millions and millions of people who struggle with this addiction or that have suffered through someone else's addiction. Pornography is the basis for ruined lives and failed marriages. Men and women all over the US and the world have become slaves to this thing that is supposed to make us "free." This thing that is supposed to be just a "harmless pastime."
Resources for You
Healing Hearts and Mending Minds by Mark Kastleman: This book is an excellent source for defining the brain science behind internet porn, but also combating the dominant mental models it creates.
Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction by Patrick Carnes: This book offers great insight into the nature of addiction and the process that addicts go through. He offers great insight based on his many years of research and experience.
http://candeohealthysexuality.com/ This is an online program for healing from sexual addiction developed by Mark Kastleman. It works to overcome the pornographic mental models in the brain and develop new, healthy ones.
http://www.shelleylubben.com/ Shelley Lubben is a former porn actress who has started the Pink Cross Foundation and now speaks out against the porn industry. She has a powerful story which she uses to help other porn actors and actresses leave the industry and find new lives.
http://www.thekingsmen.us/ This is a great men's group that protests outside porn shops in Pennsylvania. They have also started many different men's groups and runs a great retreat called Into The Wild.
I hope this series has been helpful to you. I think it is very important to understand the nature of addiction and how it effects the addict and those around him. This isn't just a case of some "perverts" who can't control themselves and are causing problems for an otherwise blameless society. This is something that has woven itself deep into the fabric of our society and is destroying us from the inside out. In subsequent posts, I will talk about God's true plan for sexuality and how He actually made us as men and women and the called it GOOD. God bless you.
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