Men, Women, and Sex: Part 1

Dear Jesus,

I know that I have been made in the image of the Father, and that He called me "Good."  Help me to conform my life and my will to the Father's.  Help me to be the man that He created me to be.  Help me to live in your Truth.  I ask this through the intercession of Padre Pio, your humble servant.

Amen.

Hello again, dear reader.  This next series of posts will concentrate on how God designed us as men and women.  I will do my best not to parrot how society defines masculinity and femininity, but how God actually made us.  After we establish God's unique design for men and women, we will talk about what His ideas are about our sexuality.  This post will concentrate on masculinity.  We will discuss how God made men, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  I think it's important to hear this message, since there are so many books and talks that tell men how they should be.  We are going to talk about how men actually are.  So pay attention gentlemen and ladies.  You women out there might actually learn a thing or two about those little things about the men in your lives that drive you CRAZY! Hehehe...

In the Book of Genesis, God made the entire world.  He looked at it and said it is good.  Coming from God, that means a lot.  When He was done with making the world, He made a man and a woman.  He called them VERY good.  That means all the nuances and idiosyncrasies of men and women are GOOD.  Men, that means you.  You are made in the image of God, and you are GOOD.  Your masculinity that is inherent to your person hood is a wonderful, beautiful thing.

Let's take a look at the male body.  Man has been given a strong musculature with high levels of upper body strength.  Testosterone courses through his blood, which is the source of his strength, his sexuality, his drive, and his passion.  His genitals are exterior.  The penis and testicles are external.  The penis gets hard and goes into the vagina and delivers the semen, which creates life.  This externality is significant in that men are built to be actively initiative.  They initiate loving sex with their wives and create life, they take dangerous risks to explore and innovate, they initiate their sons into the realm of men, and they initiate and lead their families with their drive and passion.

Men historically have been the providers for their families.  They have worked and endured long, hard conditions in order to put food on the table.  This state of active initiation has led to some of the greatest discoveries and inventions in history.  The testosterone that men have is the source of their aggression and strength.  Has it led to terrible wars and have men strayed from their God-given path?  Absolutely.  That is the nature of sin, not God's initial design for men.  God made men this way and called it good.  Men are supposed to take risks, to compete aggressively with each other, and be there to physically protect their families from danger.

So how are men wired neurologically?  I'm sure many women would tell you they're not.  Let 's start with the fact that men are brain damaged.  Yep.  It's true.  A tissue called the corpus collosum connects the two hemispheres of the brain.  This facilitates communication between the two hemispheres.  The corpus collosum of men is smaller than that of women.  Sorry guys.  Men are generally right brain thinkers.  Many women have complained about their husband's, boyfriend's, and son's ability to focus so dramatically on something that they tune everything else out.  Sorry, ladies, there's nothing you can do about it.  It's just the way we men are made.  It's actually a good thing.  It allows us to concentrate on our work and to focus narrowly on what we are doing.

We men also generally work better with lists and bullet points.  That is how our brains are wired.  Speaking for myself, I can usually focus on one or maybe two tasks at a time.  Sometimes when I am concentrating on something and my wife talks to me, I don't even hear her.  She occasionally says random things just to mess with me.  It's pretty funny.  That is also why our approach to cleaning house and taking care of the kids is different.  I'm not as good at it as my wife.  Go ahead, call me a sexist.  There is way too much multi-tasking going on for me.  I can only do one or two things at a time.

Women may also complain that all men think about is sex.  Well ladies, you're right.  According to Dr. Phillip Mango, a psychotherapist in New York City, men have a sexual thought or urge about every seven minutes.  We also get erections throughout the day.  Does this mean that we are dirty or disgusting?  NO!!!  God did that!  He said it is good!  He made us men the we are and declared it good.  Don't be ashamed of who you are, my brothers.  Don't be ashamed of your masculinity in a culture that tears it down.  God made you in His image.

Now, just to be clear, I am not advocating our sinful nature.  The sinful part of masculinity is devastating to families and society.  It leads to abandoned families, crime and murders, sexual predators, and the breakdown of male virtue as a whole.  This is not according to God's design for masculinity and is a distortion of the characteristics I have been discussing.  That is what satan does.  He takes an already existing truth and distorts it ever so slightly so that it is hollow and unfulfilling.

The last characteristic of masculinity I want to discuss is our desire for beauty.  Men, how many times have you seen an absolutely beautiful woman and been completely taken with her to the point that you trip over a curb or drive off the side of the road?  Many a teenage guy has been reduced to a babbling idiot when trying to talk to a beautiful woman.  Let's be clear: that is NOT lust!  It is how we are made.  We desire beauty.  We are visually oriented and what we see through our eyes makes a lasting impression on us.  It is not a sin or inherently wrong for a guy to see a beautiful woman and be moved by her beauty.  The problem arises when that turns into lust, and the woman becomes objectified in the man's mind or actions. 

Men may also experience beauty in nature.  God did not build men to be inside, sitting at a desk all day.  We seek adventure and a deeper meaning.  Nothing can speak better to a man's heart than when he is standing on top of a mountain overlooking the wilderness.  God put our desire for beauty into our souls.  For that desire for beauty is really a desire for God, who is the Source of all beauty.  He lets us men experience it through our eyes and souls when we behold His creation, either in the beauty of women or in nature.  This is how God made us.  This is how we are built.  As a married man, I still acknowledge when a woman is pretty.  As a sex addict, I have to be careful not to lust and look at her through a pornographic point of view.  That is our obligation as men.  Not to turn from beauty and our natural desires, but to not lust, and keep ourselves in line with God's intent.

That is enough for now.  I hope you have enjoyed reading this.  My next post will discuss the needs and fears of men, and the four archetypes of masculinity.